Supposed to be...

From the very first moment that I held your tiny body in my arms, the future was clear. Crystal clear. All of the dreams that I once had for my own personal satisfaction faded into the past and were replaced by a powerful ambition to ensure that you would always be okay. I believe that is the way it’s supposed to be.
I would rock you when you were restless and sleep lightly when you slept. I couldn’t wait to see your first smile, hear your first laugh, your first word, and I wanted to catch you after you took your first steps. Every milestone would be precious and the milestones would never end, only get more immense and more meaningful. I would teach you how to blow a bubble, ride a bike, catch a ball, a fish, whistle, spit, read, write and swear, when appropriate. With each accomplishment, I would help you develop a sense of pride, yet encourage perpetual modesty. As you grew older we would progress into more mature activities; shooting a gun, driving a car, protecting yourself, working hard, playing hard, exhibiting sympathy, empathy, compassion and making good choices. That’s the way it’s supposed to be, and that’s the way it was. We did all of these things. We did all of these things, and so many more, as a family. It was perfectly imperfect and I feel like we were just getting started.
For years I have envisioned the day when I would walk you down the aisle, place your hand in his and take my seat next to mom. I want to celebrate your graduation from law school, passing the bar exam, attaining your dream job, conquering the world! I want grandchildren, and I want you to have the experience and fulfillment of molding them into upstanding adults. I want to help you buy your first home and then watch you build your dream home. I want to mow your lawn when your life is too busy and I want to answer your call when it gets confusing. I want to die an old man with no regrets, knowing that I did my very best with what I was given, and I want you to be strong and proud. I want you to know, Morgan Patten, that you are my greatest accomplishment, because that’s the truth, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

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